Be Lambic or Green

The new Formula One season is upon us, and it looks like it’ll be a good one. The new rules and new cars make it really difficult to predict anything, but I try to make a few predictions at the start of every season, so here goes:

• Ferarri will win the Constructor’s championship.
• Jenson will get some points in early races but they’ll dry up as other teams get up to speed with the new regs.
• Max Mosely will continue to cling tenaciously to his position despite mounting opposition.
• Mark Webber will say bad words in at least 3 post-race interviews.
• Kimi and Felipe will tie for race wins, but Felipe will win on points.
• Kimi will say even less than last year.
• BMW will be the second best team.
• Lewis and Fernando will be battling each other for most of the season.
• The three Sebastiens will give the commentators headaches.
• Braun will sponsor Brawn (well they should!)

B O R I N G

Martin Brundle hit the nail on the head during his commentary of the Japanese Grand Prix when he said that F1 is now a “nanny state”. The penalties that were handed out during and after the race can be justified by pointing at video of the incidents and saying “look, he did a bad thing” but that’s not really the point. These incidents were nothing new, they’ve happened many many times in the past and they’ve gone unpunished in the past. They’ve always been considered part of racing and a big part of what makes (or made) Formula One exciting.

If a penalty is going to be handed out every time a driver makes a risky move, then drivers will stop making risky moves. Maybe that’s what the powers-that-be want, but it’s not what the fans want. No risk-taking means dull racing. At some point you have to look at a risky maneuver and say “OK, it was a bit dodgy, but it wasn’t deliberate and nobody was put in serious danger so let’s just call it a racing incident”.

I could well be wrong, but I don’t remember many penalties being handed out for first corner incidents before, and there has been first corner carnage far, far worse than the minor scuffle last weekend. The first corner is always the most chaotic part of the race, it’s almost a tradition.

I enjoyed the race. I loved seeing the two title contenders going at it so aggressively instead of taking the cautious, boring approach. It was incredibly sad to see that spoiled by bureaucratic nonsense.

After watching the very enjoyable qualifying session on Saturday morning, I was really looking forward to Formula One’s first night race in Singapore. Frustratingly though our PVR/cable box died on Saturday afternoon and is still dead now despite two visits from Videotron technicians.

I had to resort to “watching” the race via a live blog over at F1Fanatic. Not quite as enjoyable as seeing the racing with my own eyes but it was still exciting stuff; it’s surprising how easy it is to follow along just from a text feed.

It turned out to be an exciting race, but for all the wrong reasons. It sounds like it could quite easily have turned into another procession like we saw in Valencia but then Nelson Piquet drove his car into a wall and suddenly everything went crazy. It was just as most drivers were ready to make their first pit stop, and of course the safety car came out so the pit lane was closed. By a stroke of luck Alonso had pitted just before the crash, which meant he was in the perfect position, and went on to win the race.

Meanwhile Ferrari were having all sorts of dramas with Massa driving away with the fuel hose attached (not his fault) and Kimi hitting a wall leaving them with zero points. Hamilton drove an anonymous race to finish third and cement his championship lead.

It’s sad that a race only becomes exciting because of a rule that everyone thinks is stupid anyway. Commentors on the live blog were saying what a great race it was, but was it really? Yes it was exciting but was there actually any racing? There were maybe 3 or 4 decent overtaking moves but everything else revolved around what happened in the pits and with the safety car. F1 needs all the excitement it can get, but it needs to find a better way of generating it.

First, a message to Damon Hill: Please stop trying to commentate. Seriously.

Now onto the race. I don’t remember ever feeling as badly for a driver as I did for Felipe Massa; what a devastating way to end what was a superb drive. When he overtook Lewis on lap one I figured he must have 4 or 5 laps less fuel on board to make such an audacious move, but no, he only came into the pits one lap before Hamilton. He kept Hamilton a few seconds behind him until Lewis suffered a puncture and slipped back. After that the race belonged to Felipe, until three laps from the end when his engine gave up. Cruel, cruel bad luck at the worst possible time. It was tragic to see him trudge disconsolately back to the pits.

Massa’s misfortune was Kovy’s fortune though, as he went on to win his first Grand Prix. It’s about time he had a win, but I don’t think he deserved this one. In fact the only person on the podium who truly deserved his position was Timo Glock, who claimed second place on pure merit, a stunning drive in a far from perfect car. Kimi in third place got lucky with Hamilton’s puncture and Massa’s retirement. He was incredibly fast for the last half of the race but appeared to be half asleep for the first half.

The excitement continues in this F1 season, with even Hungary, usually a processional circuit, giving us an enjoyable race. I’m really looking forward to the next race in Valencia on a brand new street circuit.

It snuck up on my faster than I expected this year, but the Canadian Grand Prix is in Montreal this weekend. We’ve been to the race a few times before, but this year we’ll be watching from the comfort of our living room. For those of you who are going, I thought I would offer some last minute hints and tips.

First though, a bit of history. The Circuit Gilles Villeneuve is strictly speaking a street circuit, although not many cars use that “street” during the rest of the year. It is built on a small island called Île Notre-Dame which is part of a small complex of islands just off the southern shore of the island of Montreal. The islands are man-made, built from the material taken out of the tunnels for the Montreal metro system, and used originally as the venue for the Montreal Expo of 1967. The Formula One Grand Prix has been held on the island since 1978, except for 1987 when it was cancelled over a sponsorship dispute. In 1993 the Montreal Casino was opened, sitting in the middle of the island surrounded by the race track.

What to take

Here are some things worth taking with you to the circuit:

• A paddock pass. OK, so it’s unlikely that you have one, but if you can get one, don’t hesitate. And if you can get one for me too, even better.
• Water – It’s supposed to feel like 40 degrees Celsius this weekend, which is hot, really really hot, so take water. Seriously. I’m not kidding.
• Ear defenders or ear plugs – Those cars are loud. Loud enough to damage your ears. If you plan on listening to the radio commentary, ear defenders are best, otherwise ear plugs will do. You can buy them at the circuit but they won’t be cheap.
• Poncho – You never know, it might rain, and a poncho is better than an umbrella as far as the people sitting behind you are concerned.
• Cushion – The seats in the grandstands are not comfortable, not even in the “Gold” stands, so take something for a bit of comfort.
• Sun-screen and a hat – Like I said, it’s gonna be hot.
• Beer – Strictly speaking I don’t think you’re supposed to bring your own beer, but I’ve never had any trouble. The beer you can get at the circuit is expensive and weak.
• Food – You can get expensive and crappy hot dogs and hamburgers at the circuit or you can pack a nice healthy picnic for the day. You probably won’t get away with setting up a bbq though.
• Cameras – Depending on where you’re sitting, you can get some really nice shots, especially if you have a decent zoom.

Getting onto the island

First of all, leave early to beat the crowds. There’s plenty of stuff happening during the morning to keep you occupied so just get up and go, take breakfast with you. There are various ways to get to the circuit. You can walk, but it’s a bit of a trek from downtown. You can drive, but you have to park in a lot on the main island and get a shuttle bus to the circuit. You can take the metro, but the line-ups can get nasty. Or you can use the secret way, which I’m about to reveal to you. Hail a cab, and tell the driver to take you to the casino. Cabs going to the casino are allowed through all the barricades straight to the centre of the island, so you’re right there with no hassle at all. It’ll cost you a bit more but it’s well worth it.

Getting off the island

Getting off the island after the race is even worse than getting onto the island. You will be stuck in crowds of people whichever way you to try to go, possibly for hours. So don’t bother. Stay on the island, go to the casino, play some slot machines, grab a meal at one of the restaurants. Three or four hours at the casino and all the crowds will be gone, leaving you to stroll to the metro station or grab a cab off the island.

The people who are always calling for Monaco to be removed from the F1 calendar, who say it is boring and processional, are a bit quiet this week, after the Monaco Grand Prix last weekend turned out to be one of the best races of the season so far (I still think Turkey was better).

Obviously the rain helped a lot to make the race interesting but there were other elements too. The tyre anf fuel choices teams made, and their strategies in general made the outcome difficult to predict, and having stars like Alonso in midfield and Kovy at the back meant there was good racing.

Frustrations were evident, especially with Alonso who was obviously quicker but ended up making a rash move at the Casino hairpin that was just never going to work. Raikkonen also had a bad day, culminating in taking Sutil out of the race after an impressive attempt at getting his car back under control. Sutil was obviously devastated, so it was good of him not to rip into Kimi after the race.

It was a great race for Lewis and a thoroughly deserved win. I expect that trophy will take pride of place in his trophy room.

As for Max Mosely, well he didn’t show his face much and didn’t talk to anybody. Since the weekend a letter has been sent to the FIA calling for his resignation which has been signed by representatives from:

America, Singapore, Germany, Finland, Canada , Brazil, Denmark, France, India, Japan, the Netherlands, Sweden, Hungary, Israel, Austria, Spain, Belgium and Switzerland.

Italy isn’t on the list, which doesn’t surprise me at all. I’m a little suprised that the UK is missing though.

The Spanish Grand Prix sounds more interesting than it actually was. It was certainly a race of attrition, giving some of the smaller teams a chance at some points; it was nice to see Mark Webber and Jensen Button finally get a bit of luck. The result was a runaway for Ferrari though, with only the safety cars stopping them sprinting off into the distance.

Kovy’s crash looked really nasty, I was convinced he had at least one broken leg, especially seeing the gaping hole in the front of his pod. It’s a testament to the safety of those cars these days that he came away with just a concussion. He went almost head first into a tyre wall at 140mph, burying the car 3 tyres deep (luckily it was a 4 deep wall otherwise he probably would’ve hit something more solid), and came out with a headache.

In other news, the Max Mosley sex scandal has gone from bad to horrible for Max now that his bestest friend Bernie has joined the chorus calling for his resignation. Only three teams refused to sign Bernie’s letter: Ferrari, Torro Rosso (aka Ferrari Junior) and Williams (Super Aguri didn’t sign either but they’re busy with their own problems).

If Max has any love for motorsport left he needs to realise he’s damaging the sport and walk away. We can all wail and gnash our teeth about the horrible invasion of privacy the man has suffered, but the damage is done. We know what we know, it’s not possible to un-know it. Every time someone talks face to face with Max they will either be smirking at him or looking faintly disgusted. He claims he will attend the Monaco Grand Prix, so I’m looking forward to some of the banners the fans will have on display for him.

If the 2008 F1 season continues the way it started, we’re in for an exciting few months. Only eight cars were officially classified after the Australian Grand Prix, and two of those didn’t actually finish the race. We don’t expect Melbourne to be a race of attrition but this one definitely was. I think it’s a sign of things to come, especially for the next few races and especially when the four race gearbox rule starts having an effect.

Kimi showed the kinks in his armour last weekend with two very silly errors. Has he become too reliant on the driver aids? Did he forget that he can’t come into corners that fast any more? Or was it just early season rustiness? Time will tell but I expect he’ll sort himself out in the next few races.

The safety car rules almost caught some drivers out this time. I think the rule about closing the pit lane needs to be changed somehow. Barrichello was basically forced to break a rule to get fuel in his car or risk being stranded out on track, all because of a situation that had nothing to do with him. This obviously flustered him and his team, causing a dangerous incident in the pit stop and the running of a red light resulting in Barrichello’s ultimate DQ.

Unlike many races over the past few years, this one actually became more exciting as it progressed. Even though Lewis was off on his own happily winning the race, everyone else was still busy trying to survive and gain a few points. The fight between Alonso and Heiki was great to watch in the final laps and it’s a real shame that Kovaleinan hit the speed limiter in his excitement after taking Fernando.

I’m looking forward to Malaysia, it’ll be another hot one, and there will be six cars running on old engines and gearboxes. It’s going to be a topsy-turvy weekend. Sadly I’ll be in Vermont all weekend but I’m hoping our hosts have a decent sports network…

And talking of TV coverage, I just heard that the BBC are getting F1 back next year, great news for British F1 fans, I’m very envious.

The qualifying session for the Australian Grand Prix is tonight at 11 (in this timezone) but the drama has started already. As usual it’s mostly off the track.

We’ve had Bernie being snarky all week, threatening to take F1 out of Australia if they don’t make it a night race. I expect he will get his way in the end, as they already capitulated a bit by moving the start time to three hours later. All he’s interested in is getting his races shown in Europe during prime time, he doesn’t seem to understand that it’s a World Championship and there are plenty of other fans beside the European ones.

The big news from Mclaren is that they sacked Mike Coughlan. Not exactly a shocker; what’s strange to me is why it took so long. The scandal has been raging for almost a year and they waited until the start of the new season to fire him. Supposedly this is due to “legal reasons” but I can’t imagine these teams having employment contracts without some kind of get-out clause.

Things are no less predictable on the track. Kimi took the first practice and Lewis took the second. I think we all know where the battle for the lead will be this year. The midfield fights are going to be where the excitement is though; I hope the TV directors realise that.

The 2008 Formula One season is fast approaching, so it’s time for my season predictions:

• Hamilton will get close again, but he won’t win the WDC
• Maclaren will win the WCC
• Kimi Raikkonen will win the WDC
• Ron Dennis will retire, but not until the end of the season
• Super Aguri F1 will fold or change hands
• Toyota will get their first race win
• Timo Glock will claim that win
• Alonso and Hamilton will continue to slag each other off in the press
• Red Bull will outpace Honda
• Jenson will complain that Red Bull are outpacing Honda and repeat his mantra “We just don’t have the pace”
• Force India will be the surprisingly successful underdog
• Gearboxes won’t last the mandatory four races
• Wet races will be farcical
• James Allen will forget that both Toro Rosso drivers are called Sebastien
• Then he’ll remember and feel the need to explain the situation in detail
• The “spy” scandal will refuse to go away
• Martin Brundle will be asked to explain the lack of traction control during every race
• The Singapore race will be the highlight of the season

I got this idea from him who got it from F1Fanatic. Yes, it’s a slow blog week.

Describe each driver in one word, based on the 2007 season:

Fernando Alonso – Childish
Lewis Hamilton – Talented
Giancarlo Fisichella – Retiring
Heikki Kovalainen – Variable
Felipe Massa – Sidekick
Kimi Raikkonen – Monosyllabic
Jenson Button – Despondant
Rubens Barrichello – Disappointing
Nick Heidfeld – Impressive
Robert Kubica – Miracle
Ralf Schumacher – Loser
Jarno Trulli – Blocker
David Coulthard – Safe
Mark Webber – Jinxed
Nico Rosberg – Eloquent
Alexander Wurz – Weird
Kazuki Nakajima – Kamikaze
Vitantonio Liuzzi – Anonymous
Scott Speed – Quitter
Sebastian Vettel – Young
Adrian Sutil – Trier
Christijan Albers – Boring
Markus Winkelhock – one-off
Sakon Yamamoto – Investor
Takuma Sato – Overtaker
Anthony Davidson – Qualifier

Michael Schumacher – Absent

It had to happen sometime, but I expected it to happen through bad luck, not stupidity. Lewis Hamilton retired from a Grand Prix for the first time this season, bringing the championship down to a three-way battle in the last race.

This wasn’t bad luck though, it was a direct result of bad decisions either by Lewis or by his team. It was obvious his tyres were completely worn out at least two laps before his exit. By the time he actually tried to get into the pits the canvas was clearly visible on one tyre and had been for about a lap. Why did they leave him out so long? What were they trying to achieve?

There was tyre confusion throughout the field thanks to some very variable weather conditions, which caused some people (like Sebastien Vettel) to get lucky with their strategy and some people to get unlucky but everyone else managed to get their drivers into the pits before they went ice skating.

Apart from the shock exit of Hamilton the race was another fairly dull one. The weather added some interest, and it was good to see Button fight his way up to a sixth place finish, but there still wasn’t a whole lot of racing.

Brazil is going to be very interesting. Lewis has to score at least six points to guarantee his championship if Alonso wins the race. If Kimi wins the race Lewis only needs three points. I expect Lewis to be very cautious, while Alonso and Raikonnen will throw caution to the wind and just go for it. I’m not sure about Kimi, but if Fernando gets the chance to push Lewis off the track he will take it.

Gerry Donaldson said this was a historic race, possibly the best in the history of Japanese Grand Prix. I’m afraid I have to disagree. It was certainly an entertaining race but most of the entertainment came from the conditions and the silly mistakes everyone was making. As far as actual racing is concerned it was mediocre at best.

The first 23 laps of the race were under the safety car with a real danger that the race would be abandoned. Having stayed up into the early hours of the morning to watch it, I was very relieved when they finally decided to go racing.

By that time, Ferrari were at the back of the field after starting their drivers on intermediate tyres. What were they thinking? The FIA had imposed a rule beforehand that all cars must start on full wets, but Ferrari claim the FIA’s email didn’t arrive on time. Leaving aside the dubious possibility that everyone but Ferrari would get their email on time, why did they need telling anyway? The conditions obviously demanded full wet tyres; going out on intermediates was just dumb and dangerous. (Yes, I know they’re not called intermediates any more, but that’s what they are).

Once the race was underway it was just a question of getting to the finish line without aquaplaning off the circuit or getting hit by another car aquaplaning off the circuit. Sadly Alonso was one of the first to get unlucky, in what looked like a nasty crash which brought out the second safety car.

During the second safety car period, Mark Webber and Scott Vittel became casualties too, with the blame resting firmly on Scott after he drove into the back of Mark while they were both looking good for podium positions. While Vittel was in tears on the pit wall, Mark’s subsequent interview with Louise Goodman was one of the highlights of the race:

“It’s kids isn’t it? They have not got enough experience – they do a good job and then they fuck it all up.”

The rest of the race was fairly uninteresting until there were just a few laps/minutes left. Ferrari suddenly decided to call Massa in from third place for a fourth pit stop. I haven’t been able to find their official reason for this but I’m guessing the official reason is complete fabrication and the real reason is they wanted Kimi, who was back in fifth, to get one more point.

In the end (and I’m still not sure if the end was by number of laps or the two hour deadline) Kimi came third and Massa sixth with some amazing racing from both of them in the final few seconds to try to get another place each. Hamilton did a good job to win the race, basically just keeping his car on the track through all the carnage, and Kovaleinan did a great job to get his car up to second place for his first podium.

Rain always makes a race interesting, but it’s a shame we have to rely on the weather to make Formula One entertaining.

As a race I’ve been looking forward to since the start of the season, at a circuit widely considered to be the best driver’s circuit in the world, Spa last weekend was a terrible disappointment. It started off so well, with some fantastic racing for the first half a lap, but then it turned into just another dull processional race. Half a lap of racing does not make a good Grand Prix.

To add insult to injury, after the race Lewis Hamiliton was said to be “fuming” about the move Alonso put on him in that first corner. It was racing Lewis! It was the only thing that livened up an otherwise completely dull afternoon. Don’t complain about the racing, complain about the lack of it.

What Alonso did in the first corner was hard but he didn’t have much choice in that situation. The move also ended up giving Lewis an advantage which allowed him to almost pass Fernando on Eau Rouge. If he’d had the guts to stay flat out around Eau Rouge he might’ve even made the pass stick (he might also have ended up at the scene of an accident but let’s gloss over that).

After the mess that was Stepneygate we needed a good race. Sadly we didn’t get it.

I won’t be blogging over the next couple of weeks, in fact I’m planning not to go near any computers at all.

So as I won’t be able to give a post-race report on the Turkish Grand Prix, I’ll do some pre-race predictions instead.

I think Ferrari will be dominant this weekend. The circuit suits their cars and I’m sure they haven’t been idle for the past three weeks. Maclaren will give them a run for their money but I don’t think they’ll have the pace to get the win.

Alonso and Hamilton had “peace talks” yesterday and seem to have kissed and made up. I don’t expect them to be holding hands all weekend but hopefully the dirty tricks are behind them.

Silly season has arrived so I’m expecting lots of rumours this weekend. BMW have already confirmed their line-up for next year and I don’t expect Ferrari or Maclaren to change drivers, unless Alonso decides to bail. The biggest uncertainty is Renault, where neither driver has been particularly inspiring this season. I’m expecting at least one of them to be replaced, possibly both. Toyota is the other team I expect changes from. Yarno is already confirmed for 2008 but I’m guessing Ralf will be gone. I’ve also heard rumours of Sato possibly going to one of the Toyota teams.

I’m looking forward to a good race, I just hope I get time to watch it before we leave…

Tangential Update: Jacques Villeneuve has announced he’s going to Nascar. I hope they’re paying him plenty to make him stoop that low.

I’ve never been interested in Nascar, primarily because most Nascar races happen on ovals, and oval racing is just incredibly dull. There is also the fact that I’m a Formula One fan, and everyone knows you can’t be a true F1 fan and like Nascar too (call it F1 snobbery if you like).

So when Nascar came to Montreal at the weekend I was in two minds, but decided to give it a go as it was taking place on the Gilles Villeneuve circuit. Even Nascar can be interesting on a circuit like that, right? Well no, not really.

TSN, a broadcaster who grudgingly gives us a two hour slot for a Formula One race, sometimes not even live, dedicated seven hours of live TV to the Nascar race. Yes, seven hours! To make matters worse, nothing happened for the first four hours. What was that about?

We had the most boring qualifying procedure I’ve ever seen (and that’s saying something considering some of the dreary qualifying formats the FIA have experimented with) followed by an hour of analysis of why someone’s car broke down and an interview with a driver about his dislocated thumb. This lack of anything happening, coupled with the American commentator’s nasty habit of telling us the race was on “Circuit Jill Villnoove on ill note-rah dayme” almost made me switch off, but I perservered.

Finally the race started, now things would get exciting wouldn’t they? Wrong again. What is so exciting about these crappy little cars? My MG went almost as fast as they do and it was certainly more agile. They lumbered around the track, occasionally bumping into each other in a half-hearted fashion for two hours while the commentators tried to find something interesting to talk about.

Needless to say, I won’t be watching Nascar again. The Volkswagen Beetle challenge and the Ferrari challenge races that happen before the Canadian F1 Grand Prix were more exciting than what I sat through on Saturday.

The 2007 European Grand Prix was certainly entertaining, but in a slightly farcical way. When the rain came down, despite all the pre-race predictions of it, the teams seemed completely un-prepared. I don’t understand why nobody took the gamble of starting on intermediate (or even full wet, but that’s a much bigger gamble) tyres given the big black clouds and the on-screen predictions of imminent rain.

It looked like Kimi would be first into the pits but then he changed his mind at the last second. What was he thinking? I suppose there was a chance that it was a quick shower but it was a very slim chance.

Jenson was the first casualty, sliding off at turn one, only to be followed by six, yes SIX, other cars. When Liuzzi came spinning off, almost taking out the safety car and hitting the tractor, it was time for the race to be stopped. Why did they wait another three minutes before waving the red flag? The situation at that corner was incredibly dangerous and getting worse as more cars piled in there; it was reckless to keep the race going as long as they did.

Spyker can now say they’ve led a Grand Prix, although Winkelhof’s car was soon swarmed all over after the restart. Hamilton put in a good effort to try to get his car into the points, including an incredible and brave overtaking move on Fisi, but it was never working for him this weekend and some bad or unlucky choices left him in the dreaded 9th place.

The race was capped off nicely by Alonso and Massa almost coming to blows in the weigh-in room. Alonso realised (or Ron Dennis told him) he was being an idiot though and apologised in the press conference.

The result of this silly race is that the driver’s championship is much closer now, although suddenly superstar Kimi is languishing in 4th place as his teammate overtakes him. The rest of the season is going to be a fun fight to watch.

It really is a circus now. Despite a generally good race in France last weekend, with some amazing overtaking, it was marred by one spectacularly stupid incident. With a big lollipop in front of his face, Albers decided it was time to leave the pits anyway and dragged most of his fuel rig with him. He was very lucky he didn’t seriously injure or kill one of his mechanics.

Since then the circus has gone from one ring to three. First Ferrari announced that Nigel Stepney had been suspended and was being investigated by Italian police after apparently being accused of sabotage. Some white powder was found in the fuel tanks of the Ferrari after Monaca and Nigel was either to blame or being scapegoated. I was very dubious of the allegations when they first emerged as Stepney has been around for a long time and has always been highly regarded on the circuit.

With the latest news though I’m not so sure. Maclaren are now implicated and one of their engineers has been suspended after it emerged that he allegedly received technical information about the Ferrari cars from Stepney. Mike Coughlan, the Maclaren engineer, is now part of the criminal investigation, complete with a search warrant for his home. The FIA are doing their own investigation and are threatening to dock points from the Maclaren team (although strangely not from the Ferrari team). If all this is true it will be a sad end to Stepney’s so far impressive career.

Only in the crazy world of Formula One could a sporting championship be decided with cloak and dagger tactics, criminal prosecutions and governing body decisions. Thanfully Bernie has promised that driver standings will not be affected.

Hopefully the teams can put all this behind them and race as normal this coming weekend for the British Grand Prix. I have money on Lewis to win, a bet I placed at the start of the season before he amazed everyone with his performance. I doubt the odds are as good now.

Finally, I leave you with this fascinating video. It’s a CGI recreation of Robert Kubica’s crash in Montreal produced by the FIA and RTL. It shows which parts of the car saved Robert’s life as well as the fact that he actually hit three walls, not just two as I had thought.

There are not many vehicles you could drive at 270KPH head first into a concrete wall and survive. Luckily Robert Kubica was in one of them.

When I saw that accident I was sure Robert was either dead or seriously injured. I was absolutely positive we wouldn’t see him racing again this season.

I was wrong. Robert Kubica has a headache and a sprained ankle. He may be fit enough to race at Indianapolis this weekend. Wow.

Congratulations to Robert for being alive. Congratulations to Lewis on winning his first GP. Congratulations to Heidfeld and Wurz for well earned podium positions.

That’s it from me, I have to go send Massa and Fisi copies of the Highway Code (red means STOP guys!).

The F1 circus is in Montreal once again.

On the way to work this morning I saw on many street corners groups of men wearing bright red shirts looking very bemused and very lost. Why is it always the Ferrari fans who don’t know where they’re going?

The stores are festooned with chequered flag bunting and the number of supercars on the roads seems to have quadrupled overnight. The whole town has that F1 party atmosphere even if the Crescent street showcase is nothing more than a place to get sold a credit card.

In Montreal the race is almost a footnote. When a circuit is this close to a city it’s just an excuse to get drunk and party. Montreal is probably a lot like Monaco in that respect, except you’re still solvent by the end of the weekend.

My predictions? Massa will win. Hamilton will come second because it’s tradition now. Ralf will hit the wall. There will be a riotous exodus from NewTown when Jacques starts singing.

It looks like it’s going to be a memorable F1 season. The Bahrain race had plenty of good overtaking, surprisingly lacklustre performances from Fernando and Kimi and surprisingly excellent performances from their teammates. Hamilton is incredible, although statements from people like Jackie Stewart saying he could win the world championship still seem a little premature.

At the end of the race we have three drivers tied for first place in the championship (Hamilton hasn’t won a race so he’s third but they’re tied on points) with Massa not far behind. We have two constructors fighting for the title with BMW biting at their heels. We just need some of the other teams to pick up their pace a bit and we’ll be in for some wonderful racing.

For a moment in the race it looked like I was in for some big money, as I had a bet on Anthony Davidson to get a points finish, so it was a disappointment to see his engine give way. Massa won me $21 by winning the race though. Some of that is going on David Coulthard for the next race.

So the qualifying session was in high definition today, and the commentators paused in their jabbering to listen to team radio. Maybe TSN are listening to the fans at last.

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It was a dull race. Not a good sign for the rest of the season. However I did win $19 thanks to Lewis Hamilton getting on the podium (let’s just skip over the fact that Fisi,Renault and Anthony Davidson lost me $15).

It was good to see Hamilton giving Alonso a run for his money, although proclaiming him a future world champion after one race is just silly and is piling way too much pressure on his shoulders; calm down Ron.

Kovalainen was horrible. Hopefully that was just first race nerves otherwise I expect him to be out of a drive before mid-season. Maybe he should try rally driving.

Coulthard’s overtaking move was opportunistic to say the least, but at least he stepped forward with a mea culpa, and like he said, he was just racing. If more drivers took a few opportunistic stabs the sport might get exciting again.

The last two laps were the most exciting of the race, and yet nobody overtook anybody on the last two laps. That’s the story of the 2007 Australian Grand Prix.

BBC Sport is reporting that “Fernando Alonso says he can defend his world title in his first season with McLaren.”. Why is this news? What else is Fernando going to say? “Oh no, I’m going to suck, sorry, no chance of a world title for me this year.”

The first Formula One Grand Prix of the new season is this weekend (and if anyone from TSN is reading this, why oh why oh why is it not in high definition??), which means it’s time for my annual F1 predictions. The absence of Herr Schumacher is messing with my head a bit but let’s see how I do:

• Giancarlo Fisichella will win the Australian Grand Prix.
• Everyone will recoil in horror at the new Renault livery.
• Felipe Massa will win the 2007 Drivers Championship (wonder what odds I get on that?)
• Toyota will still not win a race.
• Michael Schumacher will make appearances at several races and get fauned over a lot.
• David Coulthard will whine as usual.
• So will Mark Webber.
• Renault will win the 2007 Constructors Championship.
• Honda will come second but still get laughed at for having a hippie car.
• Super Aguri will not score any points.
• Neither will Spyker.
• Martin Brundle will say all of the following at least once in the season: “armful of opposite lock”, “hurry up and wait”, “to be honest”, “line of least resistance”, “at the scene of the accident”.
• James Allen will say “GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO” at the start of at least 5 races.
• Jacques Villeneuve will sing at the Canadian Grand Prix.
• Jenson Button will say “We’re just not fast enough” at least 3 times in the season.
• There might be some overtaking, but it won’t be in Monaco.

• Richard “the Hamster” Hammond is back home after being discharged and walking out of the hospital. Doctors say he will take six months to recover fully though. His fans’ fundraising efforts have netted over 200,000 pounds so far, with the target set at 500,000 for a new air ambulance helicopter which will be dubbed “Hammy’s Heli’. Filming of Top Gear has resumed.
• My favourite web comic, SinFest has a particularly poignant strip today.
• I’m reading Jonathan Strange and Mr Norrell at the moment. It’s taking forever but I think it will be worth it.
• Nick Heidfeld ranted at Yamamoto after the Chinese Grand Prix, using all sorts of bad words, before realising that Yamamota was not Sato, the driver who had blocked him. Oops.
• McGill have a new science outreach program running right now. Every Friday between today and December 7th there will be a scientific lecture followed by a tangentially related science fiction movie. Tonight’s lecture is “Sea Monsters Unmasked” followed by the movie 20,000 Leagues Under The Sea. “Overpopulation of the Earth” followed by Soylent Green (Nov 10) is the most inspired though.

I was never a big fan. I know that he used dirty tricks when under pressure. I know he was arrogant, unapologetic and overpaid. I know sometimes he was a lucky bastard.

But he was still the best Formula One driver of his time. He still broke almost every record in the book. He made Ferrari the team it is today. He was driven and completely dedicated. His achievements will probably never be beaten. His retirement is a loss to the sport.

Oh, and he has the same initials as me.

After the excitement of Hungary, I thought Turkey would disappoint, but I was wrong. It was in danger of becoming boring about midway through, but the second round of pit stops brought Fernando and Michael together for a fantastic fight to the finish. You know it’s been a good race when the two championship contenders cross the finish line side by side.

Alonso was lucky to get in front of Schumacher when everyone pitted during the safety car, but that was lucky for us too; The race would’ve been a lot less interesting if both Ferraris had stayed up front. The big question is what would’ve happened if Michael had got past Alonso? Would Massa have slammed on the brakes? Would we have seen a farcical finish like we did with Rubens a few years ago? We’ll never know.

What a race, what a result! I’m starting to think it might actually be a good idea to have randomized sprinkler systems on F1 circuits; wet races are always the most exciting.

The race was exciting from the very start, watching Alonso gain 10 places in the first lap and Schumi also racing through the field as Kimi took off in the lead. Jenson took a little more time, overtaking one car every lap until he was up to 4th place. Kimi’s amazing run of bad luck continued when he slammed his car into the back of a slowing Luizzi. His retirement was followed by Alonso going out with a driveshaft failure, leaving Schumaker to romp away with some free World Championship points. But it wasn’t to be; struggling on bald tyres he was quickly overtaken by De La Rosa, despite cutting a chicane to try to avoid it, followed by Nick Heidfeld who made contact with the Ferrari causing Michael to retire.

With Alonso and Schumi both out of the race it was all up to Jenson to bring it home, and he did it in style. Even before the retirements he was already way ahead of Michael, and getting busy catching Fernando. While the rest of the field struggled with grip in the treacherous conditions, Button drove smoothly and consistently, aided by an inspired tyre and fuel strategy. Well done JB, it took 113 races to get there but everyone knew you could do it.

So good news for Britain, but bad news for Canada. After Villeneuve was unable to race in Hungary, he and BMW Sauber have parted company for good. Is this the end for Jacques?

The 2005 Formula One season ended with the crowning of a new champion driver and constructor. Good news for Alonso, good news for Renault and good news for the fans.

There were some really good races this year, but a lot of really boring ones too. The new rules coming in next year should liven things up a bit.

Back at the beginning of the season I made some predictions. Let’s see how well I did:

Ferrari will struggle to remain dominant and Michael will get desperate, either making mistakes or cheating.

They sure did struggle, and there were signs of desperation from Michael at times. What happened at Indianapolis wasn’t exactly cheating but it was farcical.

Jenson Button will win the British Grand Prix.

Well maybe he would’ve done better without the bans and other distractions.

Juan and Kimi will be at each other�s throats by the third race.

Surprisingly they seem to be getting on ok. Juan’s mistakes haven’t impacted Kimi too much, and when they affected the result Kimi was very gracious about it.

Williams will blame Nick Heidfeld for everything that goes wrong.

It turned out to be Webber who got most of the blame and the bad press. Nick was a surprise star.

Fisichella will out-perform Alonso.

At the start of the season it looked like he was going to. Lots of bad luck and unreliability put a stop to that though.

Jacques won�t get near the podium.

Yeah well I had to get an easy prediction in there.

David Coulthard will go into rehab for Red Bull addiction.

He looked jittery to me a few times.

Ralf Schumacher won�t shut up about how crap Williams were and how great Toyota are.

Maybe he signed a gag clause with Williams. He was still annoying though.

Narain Karthikeyan will crash. A lot.

Yep. He did.

Juan and Michael will take each other out at least once.

It will happen next year.

Michael Schumacher will come second in the Driver�s Championship.

I was close! Considering how much Ferrari sucked this year, third was a good result for him. Of course, Indianapolis helped…

Ferrari will win the Constructor�s Championship purely on reliability.

They were mostly reliable, they were just really really slow and the Renaults had equally good reliability.

It’s confirmed, Rubens is leaving Ferrari to be replaced by Massa. I’m not really surprised, he was obviously getting pissed off with being Michael’s please-move-over-I-need-the-points guy. I’m looking forward to seeing what he can do for BAR (assuming the rumours are correct), especially if it’s alongside Jenson (which seems unlikely, but there’s still hope).

In other news, it’s quiz night tonight at Hurley’s Irish Pub, starting at 8pm and hosted by the Walter the Wonderful Wombat.

Oh, and don’t forget those skeptics’ circle submissions!

Yesterday, the Formula One governing body found the seven Michelin teams who refused to take part in the US grand prix guilty of bringing the sport into disrepute. OK, fine, they screwed up, they deserve some kind of (hopefully financial) punishment; but my question is who governs the governing body? The problem was caused by the Michelin teams, but the resulting fiasco could have been avoided. The FIA are partially to blame for what happened. They had options, they could have done something to give the fans a race. They had time, not much time admittedly, but time enough to put together a plan that would allow all teams to race safely and fairly.

If the FIA cannot or will not hold themselves accountable then they are just doing more damage to their already tarnished reputation and to the sport.

After yesterday’s shambles at Indianapolis I hope the FIA make an effort to change their attitude. 100,000 fans were there to see a motor race supposedly at the pinnacle of motor sport. Millions of fans around the world were tuning in to see it too. Instead we got a farcical Ferrari showcase.

Choosing to let the race go ahead with only 6 cars, only two of which were competitive, was the worst possible decision. Fix the problem so everyone can race, or cancel the race and refund the fans. Running a six car race may fulfill the FIA’s contractual obligations but it does nothing for their reputation or for the reputation of the sport.

Without the fans, F1 is dead. The FIA must stop putting politics before the fans’ enjoyment. Their decisions yesterday effectively killed Formula 1 in the USA and seriously damaged it everywhere else.

The temperature is rising. The stands are going up on Ile Notre Dame. The chequered flags are hanging outside all the stores. Crescent Street is bracing itself for an invasion of beautiful people. The F1 boutiques are fully stocked. The hotels are booked. Yes, the F1 circus is coming to town with only 10 days to go before the Canadian Grand Prix. Summer hasn’t arrived properly until the sound of 17000 RPMs can be heard faintly from almost anywhere downtown.

Oh and if you want to get a glimpse of Zach Braff, it looks like he’s filming down by the Bell Centre today. Go stalk.