With the bible being a historically accurate record of the history of the universe, this obviously casts doubt on theories such as the stone, bronze and iron ages of man. These should be replaced with detailed analysis of the great flood and that whole parting of the Red Sea event. Also, for some reason, the word of God stopped being written down about 20 centuries ago, so until the bible is officially updated, all modern history will be ignored.
The bible states quite categorically that the Earth is a “circle”, and of course, circles are flat, so this whole globe theory has to go. Obviously, unknown currents are driving us around the circle making it seem like we’re on a globe. Alternative maps will be provided.
Experiments to investigate transubstantiation will be added to the syllabus, as well as possible theories for how human bodies can suddenly turn into salt.
The big bang, aerodynamics, and gravity are all “just theories”, so biblical alternatives must be provided. Seven day creation, the marionette theory of flight, and intelligent falling will be offered as alternatives.
The word of God was written in Aramaic, Hebrew or Greek (depends who you talk to, but we’ll just gloss over that), so these will be the only three languages taught in our schools. All lessons will be held in Hebrew.
The bible has no pictures, so art isn’t allowed.
To be added to the syllabus: Wooden cross carrying; walking on water attempts; “active” praying; stoning practice.
Sex is a sin, don’t do it. Filthy children.